Monday, December 29, 2008

Standing in Line to Surrender



Usually, I don’t like standing in line for anything! I’ve always been impatient like that. I don’t even like being the first one in line!
Seems lately I’ve been standing in line waiting for yet another phase of my journey to accepting the fact that my type of alopecia is permanent. What? There’s another phase to this? I’ve accepted that my hair loss is permanent and also the way that I look without hair. It’s the unexpected things that seem to crop up with the type of alopecia I have that can get a little trying sometimes.
I’ve accepted so much since the beginning of my hair loss and have gotten through some rough times. That’s all I ever seem to talk about…acceptance, acceptance…acceptance. By nature, it’s what we do when we “hit a wall”, when we can’t go any further, when we have no other choice. What’s acceptance? Acceptance is the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable. That’s the dictionary’s explanation and for the most part, I think it’s a valid assessment. However, what that statement doesn’t address is all the work it takes to arrive at that “state of being”. I can tell you that my own experiences have proven that the road to acceptance was hard work and it’s a work in progress. You’ve got to stay on top of your game. Some days you come out swinging only to get knocked down to the ground but, you do get up.
And some days I get tired of having to accept the fact that I have alopecia. Some days I just feel content with “standing in line to surrender” to everything associated with having alopecia. Having alopecia can come with a lot of baggage such as the negative social stigmatisms, emotional and self-esteem issues and then there’s medical aspect of it all. And for some of us, we are not physically sick in the way most people make the association with diseases. I feel that puts us in a strange position sometimes. I’m finding out that there is no straight line to acceptance. There are peaks and valleys along the way. I realized that some days I’ am not going to feel good about my “acceptance” all the time. This is not a “woe is me” rant about how hard it is to have alopecia. I’m just keeping it real! I don’t feel good about the fact that I have alopecia everyday! I’m human!
I admire and respect all the men, woman and children I’ve met and spoken to who have had this disease all their lives. I think of all the different phases of their lives they’ve gone through and how they handled all those moments that their alopecia comes into question. Losing my hair at age 46, I’ve had to learn all those “little defense mechanisms” they’ve mastered in the course of their lives, all rolled up into one huge “crash course”! This is why I can’t beat up on myself for not “feeling good “about having to accept my hair loss every day. The point is that I do accept it, and with acceptance comes empowerment, education, sharing information, and this list can go on and on.
So for me, “standing in line to surrender” doesn’t mean “giving in” to alopecia.
I think it forces me to look at “what’s good about it” and focus on the positive, documenting, sharing information, working with medical researchers and most of all connecting with people like me who have real stories that I’ve become inspired and empowered by every day. The more we put our stories out there, the easier it will be for the next person who “googles” the word alopecia to put a face and head to this unpredictable disease alopecia.
Just this once…I don’t mind standing in line so much.

Monday, December 8, 2008

What Are You Staring At?



A while back I was walking through the West Palm Beach airport in Florida and spotted a bald woman walking in front of me. She was scheduled to take the same flight as me. At the time, I had a head full of hair. I remember thinking, “Did she choose to look like that? How could she walk out the door like that? I would have covered up, worn a wig or something. “She appeared to be healthy and was dressed attractively. I also remember feeling sorry for her. I just couldn’t imagine having to walk around in public like that. I assumed then that this had to be her choice... I pictured her to be an “artsy” type of person…you know the type…folks that march to a different drum than everyone else…creative people that don’t mind calling attention to themselves. How narrow minded of me to have these thoughts.
Since becoming an alopecian, there are times I find myself becoming agitated when people stare at me the same way. I’ll even become angry and wonder what they all find so amusing that they are unable to take their eyes off of me. Are they just staring at my strange fashion sense when looking at my colorful head wraps?... Or are they staring today because I have long curly hair and yesterday I had a sassy looking short hair cut? Maybe they are thinking that I’m some “backwards chameleon” looking to get attention on a busy work day morning. Nonetheless, I get agitated and sometimes grow weary of the stares. Sometimes I get so angry that I think, “I’m just going to freak them all out tomorrow by going “topless”, meaning nothing on my head that is!
Recently, I thought of the lady in the airport. Wow, I used to be like the people that stare at me. I’ve been so hard on those people, always wondering why the hell they were looking at me. I would get so angry at their curiosity.
Now that the shoe is on the other foot I see things much differently. People are going to stare and wonder. It’s only natural to do this if in the mundane routine of their day, they see someone or something that is different. With the type of alopecia I have it is sometimes impossible to put on a wig or hat to blend into the crowd.
AND…How about this novel idea? Maybe they think my bald head is beautiful!
Trying to control how people react to me is a waste of my time and energy. It serves absolutely no purpose to do this. That’s way too much weight to carry on my shoulders. I have enough baggage in trying to deal with the ramifications of protecting the thinning skin on my scalp from the heat and cold environments. For me, it’s about perceiving myself in a positive manner. Everything else is conducive to that very thought. I need to rely on my own voice of integrity in order to turn that negative energy I was feeling into a positive one…But, how does one go about doing this in a society that views having hair as a sign of health, beauty and status? I believe different answers to that question exist and the answers are as different as the individual posing the question. For me…, BE HEALTHY! I’ve decided to love what’s left of my body. There’s so much more to my physical being than my hair. As far as what I possess inside of me, well there are so many layers there, they are too numerous to mention, lots of which I have yet to discover.

Many of us don’t realize how much we hide behind our hair every day. It’s what frames our face. It makes us feel good especially when each strand is laying just the right way.
Framing my face still seems like the natural thing to do some days since I wasn’t bald all of my life. So, sometimes I overcompensate by wearing colorful head wraps, makeup, jewelry and clothes. It’s how I deal with some of my buried emotions regarding not having hair. I admire people who have had alopecia all their lives and appear to take not having hair all in stride. This is a learning process for me but I’m happy with just realizing that losing my hair in this stage of my life is just that…a learning process.
From time to time I may find the negative thoughts creeping back, that’s only human nature. Being able to put things back into the proper perspective is not always an easy feat for some of us. Maybe, I will learn to master this skill, hopefully to perfection. If not, I’ll just be content at being, “human”.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

New Philadelphia Alopecia Support Group



THE PHILADELPHIA ALOPECIA MEETUP GROUP

Crowned Regal, Founder of CROWNEDREGAL.COM has formed a local alopecia MeetUP group in Philadelphia dedicated to offering support and resources for people who have hair loss due to the autoimmune disease alopecia. The group was founded on December 1, 2008 by Annette Moore aka Crowned Regal. It's purpose is to provide face to face meetings for people with alopecia in the Philadelphia and nearby surrounding areas. Ms.Moore has plenty of experience regarding this disease. She knows first hand what issues "alopecians" are faced with on a daily basis. She was diagnosed with two forms of alopecia in 2007. She also brings with her, experience as a motivational speaker. Her story was recently featured on a local ABC affiliate television station and is dedicated to spreading awareness to alopecia through her official website, crownedregal.com, YouTube videos, awareness workshops and events and now as the founder and organizer of the Philadelphia Alopecia MeetUp Group.
Read more

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Some Woman's Online Dating Profile






SCREEN NAME: beautyinsideandout


PROFILE PICTURE: Not Available



I'm a compassionate and loving person.

I am spiritually grounded and sensitive to other people's needs.

I enjoy sports, especially football and like the outdoors.

In the past, I have handled adversity well.

I don't require much to be happy, I want someone to love and respect me, care about me, someone respectable and appreciates the basic necessities of life.

Meeting people is something I enjoy.

Everyone has something important to say.
Give me a topic of conversation and I'll find something interesting to say about it. If you can't come up with a good topic, I'll find one that is interesting to both of us.

I'm a great listener.

I've made some huge mistakes in my life but have learned from them and moved on to better things.

I am an honest and supportive person.

Computer forensics, graphics, website design and building computers is one of my favorite pastimes.

I love tech stuff like iPods, Smart phones, podcasting, blogging, YouTubing, Googling, forum surfing and social networking .

I'm a loyal friend.
People usually confide in me to help with things they may not share with those closest to them.

Give me a fully stocked kitchen and watch me work some magic on your favorite dish.

I've always been a creative person.

I can dance my butt off.

I love music, period!

I love to have fun and feel happiest knowing and encouraging those around me to have just as much fun as I am.

I like quiet moments at home and believe you don't have to spend a lot of money to enjoy the good company of someone.

I'm a a responsible financial planner and great at managing my household.

I don't mind compromising in a relationship as long as neither partner has to compromise who they are.

I love to dress, sometimes classic, sometimes, professional, sometimes runway stylish, sometimes funky, sometimes unique but always stylish and tasteful.

I've been told that I am a very attractive woman. My legs are my best feature and I have been told that shoe designers had me in mind when making those great pair of high heeled pumps you see on the catwalk and runways.

I'm intelligent and have been successful in my career.
I have a great work ethic.

I love to snuggle and hug and make my partner feel important. I love to sneak away for spontaneously romantic moments. It's one of the things I do best.

I am open to my partner's ideas, suggestions and am willing to be flexible and try new things. I believe that in a partnership each person can contribute their own unique, positive and strongest of qualities.

I love to decorate a room.

I appreciate other's artistic abilities.

I love jewelry and accessories.

I like to smell good.

I absolutely love children.

I'm an aspiring writer.

I'm confident and positive in my thinking.

I have alopecia and I am completely bald.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Crowned Regal is Flared Up!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Thanks for Thinking of Me


I can't tell you how many times in the course of my day that people tap me on the shoulder and say" I thought of you today."

When I look into the mirror each day, I think of me too, but it's different from what others see. On most days I see a woman who is a work in progress...Always trying to find out what she needs to do to improve herself inside and out. I believe that one should make it part of their daily routine because it helps one to achieve their goals, fix what needs fixing, make sure things are in check, so to speak.

So when someone says to me in passing, "I thought of you today", I like to ask them "Why?". Recently, someone said to me, "I thought of you today because my friend is going through some hard times and has been feeling a little down because she's been ill. She's on chemo right now. My friend doesn't have what you have, but I thought she could relate to you because you seem to have accepted what has happened to you (referring to my baldness)."

WHAT? How does this relate to me?

When I asked, the person said, "Your story is inspirational in that it had to be difficult to lose your hair and somehow overcome it all. I couldn't have done that. It seems you have taken the bull by the horns, you've certainly made lemonade with no lemons." I said, "I lost my hair, and it was hard and I feel for your friend. But your friend is very ill and while I feel honored that you would look at me this way, I am so very surprised that you would relate to my story in this way."

If only I had a dime for every time that scenario has been presented to me...

Below are some other thoughts people have shared with me:

I thought of you today because I didn't have courage to shave my head for 20 years and I did it today. I feel liberated.

I thought of you today because I saw Robin Roberts on Good Morning America reveal her bald head on national television and she looked beautiful and courageous.

I thought of you today when my friend contacted me today and is being told that she may have scarring alopecia and she’s devastated.

I thought of you today because my mom has been receiving chemo and has lost all of her hair.

I thought of you today because my aunt wears a wig and hasn’t taken it off for years and I HAVE always wondered what was underneath that wig of hers.

I thought of you today because I relate to you so much. I’ve come to a place of acceptance since being released from rehab.

I thought of you today because, I am having a hard time trying to get through the day. My husband has been cheating on me and says that I am too fat. Your husband doesn't mind that you are bald and still loves you...If you can accept what you look like than so can I. I know there is someone who will love me for who I am.

I thought of you today because my 8 year old daughter has alopecia and is being teased at school.

I thought of you today because, my little girl saw a picture of you bald with a red dress on and wanted me to print it because she was so happy that the lady in the red dress looked like her.

I thought of you because I think that you should attend my workshop on hair alternatives.

I thought of you today because I would like you to attend the next center for disease control convention, they should know about your story. You should come with me...and the thoughts keep coming.

It's not just about me and only my struggles anymore. I have found that losing my hair isn’t just about me losing hair, it’s a gift that has been given to me to use as a tool to help inspire others to move past obstacles they are facing. Who knew?...Who knew that my bald head, my new identity, the very thing that I used to find so difficult to accept would be the very thing that would ultimately help to inspire others in their struggles in any way they choose to relate to my it.

So from this point forward, on the days that I continue to struggle with accepting the way that I look; be it my bald head or some other part of my body I feel needs some fixing;... I will think of the fact that there are people in this world who are thinking of me in a positive light. Now I can appreciate the person staring back at me in the mirror that much more.

What a wonderful gift my alopecia has been...and "thank you for thinking of me".

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Look What's Blooming! It's Springtime Again!




It's my favorite time of year. I love the anticipation of each day growing longer, love growing stronger and sifting through all the brightly colored clothing I missed wearing during the cold and gray winter months. It's also that time of year where I can't wait to see the flowers bloom and I begin to shed the layers of sweaters, coats, hats, gloves and heavy foot gear.

Today, I decided to pull out my brightly colored scarves and beautifully printed head coverings, light weight hats and short wigs. Doing this today, reminded me of the warm weather months to come and I thought to myself, "Not only is it time to shed the layers of clothing, but it's also time to reveal your head again. It's going to get too warm to tolerate the heat from wearing any of these head coverings". After going through one summer already, and one winter season as an alopecian, I thought I would be prepared to take on the world a a bald woman. Instead I found that sense of shame creep back inside of me. I was confused by these thoughts of shame I was having. I was on a train into work at the time and eerily felt the same as I did in the beginning stages of loosing my hair. This confusion kept knitting away at me like a needle to the brain. Why was I having these thoughts after all of the accomplishments that I've made toward acceptance? The only thing that I could come up with was that I had never been through the transition from the winter season to the spring season as an alopecian before. You see..., during the winter months I was able to cover up under suede hats and wigs on top of hoods and hoodies. I had developed a false sense of confidence regarding my feelings of being bald. It seemed that the confidence I had built up last summer by exposing my bald was lost. The only analogy that I can think of would be that of a child that had just taken a nasty fall off his bike and was afraid to get back on again. And to make matters worse, I moved to a new neighborhood with a new route to work, a different train, filled with different people. I have to get used to seeing them and they have to get used to seeing me, the bald woman in the neighborhood...but its OK. I'll find a way to reach down and pull on the same boot straps that got me this far in my journey to acceptance. I am ready for the stares, the comments, the sad faces, the giggles and snares! I have my "I LOVE ME" armour on and ready to rock! They will never have to know the turmoil that I still struggle with internally. I'll work it out somehow and keep forging on...all the while I will keep them all thinking, "LOOK WHAT'S BLOOMING! IT'S SPRINGTIME AGAIN! ISN'T SPRINGTIME BEAUTIFUL!"


Monday, March 17, 2008

New Social Network Launch - ALOPECIA WORLD!


Alopecia World is a new and exciting social network for those who have alopecia and their loved ones...or maybe you just want to stop by and see all those BEAUTIFUL bald people all in one place. The network is rich in content which includes the most up-to-date features found on a social networks today. Some of the many features include the ability to set up your own space (or web page), chat room, forums, groups, photo and video gallery. Let's not forget the best feature of all...a place to find and connect with fellow alopecians all over the world. This type of social network is the first of its kind and is quickly becoming the #1 place for alopecians and their loved ones. You will find men, women, children and their parents (includes support for parents of children with alopecia).

This unique and well put together social network was founded by Cheryl Carvery and her fiance Richard Jones. It's clear to see the passion, hard work and dedication that has gone into this project in the short time since its launch on March 8th, 2008. Membership is free provides an easy to use customizable look for its members. Visit Alopecia World at www.alopeciaworld.com.


I'm a proud member of Alopecia World. I have a feeling that we alopecians will be saying someday, "What did we all do before Alopecia World!". Kudos to its founders as well as its members!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

COULD LIGHTNING POSSIBLY STRIKE TWICE???


The answer is yes. Lightning definiately did strike twice for me regarding my alopecia diagnosis. You see, I was diagnosed with two different types of alopecia. I have Cicatricial Centrifugal Alopecia and Alopecia Totalis. What???...yeah, that was my reaction too. When diagnosed, I asked, "Wait one minute, you can have more that one type?...at the same time?" I didn't even know that there was more than one type. Well, not only is there more than one type; there are a couple of different catagories and under each catagory there are several types of alopecia.

Well, as my sister always says, "You can never do anything on the DL (the down low)." She's right. My diagnosis falls under two different catagories with two different types. Here's the deal, I have both scarring and non scarring alopecia. The Cicatricial Centrifugal Alopecia is of the scarring type while the Alopecia Totalis is of the non-scarring type. Alopecia Cicatricial (scarring) alopecia refers to a group of rare disorders which destroy the hair follicle and replace it with scar tissue, thereby causing permanent hair loss. Complete scalp hair loss is alopecia totalis (non-scarring type). Lucky Me!

I had the wonderful opportunity to meet some beautiful ladies who have alopecia over the weekend. They were all stuggling with lots of the same feelings and experiences as me. I was so inspired by each and every one of them. So not only does lightning strike twice in the same place, it can strike more than once at the same time and all over the world. It was so comforting to know that someone else out there looks and feels just like me. Like I said, "Lucky Me!".

To read more about alopecia visit http://www.crownedregal.com/links.htm

Thursday, January 24, 2008

LOVING AN ALOPECIAN WOMAN


Love her with every thread of your being. Love her with every emotion that is intertwined within every thread of your makeup. Love her from the heart. Love her from your mind, your body, your soul. Love her spiritually. For not doing these things encumber the armour she will need to protect her from the unwanted forces of the universe. Although she is strong and on most days she is perfectly capable of doing this herself, she has days where she falls short in doing this. Do not allow yourself to erase her image, for many people have tried to do this. She needs you to help preserve the beautiful things she possesses internally because the images in magazines, commercials and other forms of media can sometimes be successful at breaking down those very things causing a infestation of low self esteem, anger and other negative feelings that will gradually wash away all the good things about her.

See what others won't see. See how beautiful her face looks; everything from her beautiful eyes to the sleek clean lines of her soft and regal crown...OH, and did you notice her profile? So sovereign and self assuring. Have you seen her dance? How the lines from the shape of her head flows in tune with the lines from the shape of her body when she dances? Wouldn't you just love to dance with her?...But only if you can keep up.

Her mouth and nose so poignant...everything you love about her stands out, more magnified, more intense, more....and doesn't her skin look nice?

When you kiss her, kiss and hold her head too. She'll like that. Tell her from time to time that you appreciate her courage in being unique in her style and grace. Let her know that you don't mind being with her without her hair in the open for all to see. Hold her hand in public. Show everyone that although she looks different than most, there's got to be something about her that you just can't live without. Make her admirers envious of you and all the while guessing what secrets lie beneath her exterior; you know...that thing that keeps you grounded in your relationship with her. Instead of "Honey your hair looks nice tonight." tell her, "Honey your skin is so soft and glowing tonight.".

She can hold her own amidst the sea of beauties you encounter everyday. At times she rises above them. Don't you know why that is? It's because of beauty she exudes from within. She doesn't have a frame like all the pictures on the wall in an art gallery so she has to display her art that much more.

How lucky do you feel today? Love an alopecian woman....for she is prize buried beneath all the other bevel of beauties. Why didn't you notice her before?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

AS LONG AT YOU'RE OK WITH IT...


I will continue to erase the image of myself for you, as long as you're OK with it. I will continue to not show you what I look like. I will continue to show up at family functions, board meetings, school plays and holiday parties and cover my baldness.

I will continue to wear things like colorful scarves, unusual hats and wigs of different hair colors in which you sometimes deem inappropriate under different circumstances. I will continue to not get on a crowded bus, train or airplane without covering my head...that is, if you're OK with it.
I will continue to not remove my hat in the middle of eating in some greasy spoon of a diner while my head pours of sweat from the heat in the kitchen...yeah, I'll do that too, that is, as long as you're OK with it.
I will continue to not do anything that will call attention to the fact that I have no hair.
I will continue to do all these things and act as if I enjoy doing so...all this for you...that is, if this is what makes you comfortable being around me.
I care so much about what you think, meanwhile erasing the very person that I am. I will continue to do this too just as long as I am not OK with it, and you are. Why?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

DEAR SOMEONE,


I know what you are thinking. I know that when you walk into a room you think that everyone is staring at you. I know that when you took your shower today, you shut your eyes and thought about your hair floating down the drain. I know that when you were in the market the other day that you saw the lady in the next aisle staring at you. I know you are afraid of meeting someone that you could possibly have a relationship with. I know that you are afraid of revealing yourself to someone intimately. I know that you don't know that there is hope for you. I know that you wore your wig today, your hat yesterday and tomorrow you are thinking about going out without anything on your head. I know that when you wore your head wrap last week that you thought people could see your head even though it was completely covered. I know that you couldn't find anything in your closet you thought would look good on you, when you were getting ready to go out. I know that you are obsessed with your hair loss. I know it seems to consume your every thought. I know that you looked at the lady or man on the street and felt jealous or envious that they had hair and you didn't. I know that your family and friends are tired of hearing you talk about your hair or lack there of. I know you keep worrying about your fake hair falling off. I know you don't feel comfortable covering up your secret. I know your head feels too cold sometimes or too hot sometimes. I know that you still haven't come to grips with the fact that your hair does not define the person inside of you. I know that you wish people could stop looking at your head and look in your eyes, your mind and your heart instead. I know that you don't know how to reach out to others who look like you and feel the same feelings that you feel. I know that you feel that your family really doesn't understand your feelings about your hair. I know that you get angry when people tell you to just be thankful for what you have and to just "snap out of it" and "suck it up". I know that people keep telling you that you should be thankful that you are not suffering from something much worse. I know that you don't know enough about this disease or even know how to do the research to find out about it. I know that you wonder if people are taking you seriously at your place of work or school. I know that you feel hurt. I know that the flood gates of your tears are about to burst wide open when someone so much as makes eye contact with you. I know that you have been having private pity parties when no one is around. I know that you don't want people to feel sorry for you. I know that you think you are the only one in the world that is going through this. I know that you think that no one will ever date or marry someone who is lacking hair. I know that you just don't know that all these negative feelings you are having is perfectly normal for someone who has lost something that most people feel defines your beauty.




I know that you are wondering how I know all these things about you.




I know these things about you because I am you.




Your hair does not define all of the beauty you possess inside of you. If you don't truly believe that statement than how can you expect others to do the same?


Sunday, January 6, 2008

ODE TO EL - Look Ma', No Hands!


HI MOMMY! JUST UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT MISSING YOU...Love, Nettie

Saturday, January 5, 2008

BALD LOVE

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because of a dream; or nightmare depending on how you view it. It was one of those metaphoric dreams. You know, like when you are dreaming about having something you wish you had and it takes the form of something else?...like wishing you had more money, only in the dream you're doing something ridiculous like drowning in a sea of purses.

Anyway, I was dreaming about having a conversation with someone who was sitting across from me. I didn't really know who the person was yet, I felt comfortable talking to this person. I couldn't make out facial features or anything. I was making some sort of gestures with my hands and realized that my long flowing hair got in the way of my movements and I felt myself getting really happy that I had my own natural hair. I continued my conversation with this mysterious person and then realized that the hair started getting in the way and began to annoy me. So I began ripping the hair off...not in a violent manner, just gently pulling out sections. I did this very nonchalantly and it was painless. I could see the hair falling to the floor and began to realize that I had made a mistake in pulling it out. Regretted having done this, I began to panic and felt my body thrashing underneath my blanket. I woke up to a cold and chilling sweat and laid there motionless and thinking, "What was that all about?". I realized that I had been dreaming in metaphors again and began to question what was taking the form of what in the dream.

Well, after not much deciphering, I realized the person I was having a conversation with was my husband, who incidentally is bald also. A recent conversation I had with my husband was about how animated I can be with my hands when I am talking to him. Also, knowing myself, I had to be really comfortable with this person for me to just nonchalantly rip my hair out in front of them. My feelings of regret were symbolic of missing my natural hair. What about the feelings of panic, thrashing under the blanket and sweating? Well, the jury is still out of the court room deliberating on that one...that could have been me having one of my "personal summer" episodes...that's menopause for you younger folks. (He,He)...

What does all this have to do with "BALD LOVE"?, you say?...it's like this, I never thought that in a million years that the guy I met back in 1977...,the one with the really huge afro,... and that girl he met, with the perfectly permed and feather cut, Farrah Facet hair...would grow bald together rather than gray together. With all the things we have been through during our long and winding union together, how special do I have it that, I have him to look across to, after going through a life altering experience such becoming an "alopecian". I lost my hair, he lost his hair, we both look so different than what we looked like in 1977, yet when we look at each other... we still see the same people. Guess that's the same thing people do when they grow old and wrinkly together.

NO THAT'S BALD LOVE!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

FEELIN' GREAT IN 2008!


Each year, as the new year approaches, I begin to think of all the changes, experiences, highs and lows of the year that rapidly begins to unravel in a pace that is fast as the speed of sound. I'm usually anxious to leave behind all the things that have gone wrong along with the bad spirits they came in with! However, I am always amazed at how many blessings I had overlooked or even at times how those very blessings had disguised themselves as "bad things". I was not spared nor immune against the trials and tribulations of life in the year 2007. Becoming an "alopecian" in 2007 seemed at first to be almost like I was being cursed for something. I just didn't understand it.

I know now that it was such a wonderful blessing. From this life altering experience, emerged the start of 2008 which is already shaping up to be what I think will be an amazing year. I learned so much about myself and how people view me as a person. Not having hair does bring out the worse in people, however, most people who encountered me as bald woman were able to see past my exterior and made some wonderful assessments of my interior. They even at times reminded me of the positive things I had forgotten about myself. In addition, they were able to point out positive things about me that I never knew I had.

My beautiful husband, children and friends gave me so much support and love. Most importantly, they didn't love me any less than when I had hair. We live in a society that focuses on appearance and views hair as a symbol of health and beauty. Think about it from this perspective for a moment...in the eyes of some, I had lost my health and my beauty. When I really thought about that notion alone, it seemed so ridiculous to place that much value on hair. So my next thought was, "So how do I convince people to look at me and be convinced that I still had my health and beauty?". The answer here is two-fold. Number one, I needed to look inside for my beauty and let it flow freely and naturally; in hopes that it will emanate, permeate, or whatever, to my exterior like a really sweet and desirable smelling perfume in which people couldn't ignore. And number two, if people just didn't get it, so be it! There is no one that I need to prove what positivity and beauty exists inside my heart and mind. The people who love me and care about me like my family and friends already know this and could care less if I have hair or not. I have embraced my newfound baldness...err, eh, I mean my newfound beauty and realized that it's OK to want to remember what it was like to have hair. Either way, I am going to continue to love myself, because if I don't, how could I possibly expect others to do the same. My slogan for the new year?...FEELIN' GREAT IN 2008!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!
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